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Abstraction
The kitchen sink is truly magical. It seems to have a certain power over the rest of the kitchen. When the sink is clean and shiny, it’s harder to let the rest of the room get messy. It’s easier to hand-wash a glass or two. It makes you want to put your dirty dishes right into the dishwasher so you don’t mess up your sink. It gives an instant first impression to visitors, as well. They don’t know how long those dirty dishes have been in the sink! It could have been an hour, or it could have been several days.
Tools:
Dish soap
Dish cloth
spray bottle with diluted cleaner
old toothbrush
baking soda
vinegar
bleach
towel
I find that the most logical time to clean the kitchen sink is after dinner, after I have loaded the dishwasher. We probably won’t use the sink again after dinner, so that is a logical time. It is so nice to wake up to a nice clean sink each morning!
If there are dishes in your sink, the first thing you need to do is wash them or put them in the dishwasher. NEVER stash dirty dishes in the oven! Never stash them in a bin under your sink! You’re reading this page for a reason… and those tactics DON’T work for messies! You have to keep your dishes clean. That means you HAVE to wash the dishes at least once a day. If you have many dirty dishes, then get them washed and put away before working on shining the sink. Don’t worry, I’ll wait.
OK, now I’m assuming that all of your dirty dishes have been taken care of properly. Ah, if you stashed them, go back and wash them! Trust me, you will feel GREAT without that weighing on your conscience!
Remove everything that hangs out by the faucet. You’ll need to find new homes for almost all of this stuff. I’ll tell you what can stay there when we’re done.
Spray the whole sink with the spray cleaner. Spray the faucet, the knobs, the base, the whole sink. Use the wet dishcloth to scrub everywhere, including the faucet and knobs. Use the toothbrush to scrub all around where the faucet meets the sink. If you’ve never done this before, it will be disgusting. Use the dishcloth to wipe away the yucky stuff. Rinse well.
This step is optional. I like to use baking soda and vinegar to keep my drains open. I haven’t had a clog since we’ve been here (19 months) so it seems to work. It’s better for the environment and for the pipes than caustic chemicals. It’s also cheap… and fun to watch! I dump some baking soda, about a fourth of a cup, into each drain. Then I pour about a half a cup of plain white vinegar into each drain. Enjoy watching it fizz! When it stops fizzing, give it another two minutes or so, and then run hot water down the drain for a few moments.
On the days that you don’t do the baking soda and vinegar, you should sanitize your drain. This should be done every other day at least. Make a solution of about a teaspon (a sploosh) of bleach and about a liter (quart) of water. Then, pour the solution down the drain! (Make sure you pour some into your garbage disposal, too, if you have one.)
Now, dry out the sink with your towel, paying special attention to the faucet. You may put back the dish soap, the handsoap, and a tube of handcream. Nothing else should be by the sink. Put the dishcloth and towel into the laundry and set out a clean dishcloth and towel, and you are done!
Do you have a special place in your home just for you to relax after a hard day’s work? Do you have at least one corner that is just for you and what you think is beautiful or comfortable? You deserve to have a nice place to relax in your home. For some people, their special place is their bed, or a reading chair in the living room, or a corner of the couch, or the dining room table. Have you ever thought about creating such a place, or about making your usual landing spot even nicer?
A sacred space should include a place to sit or lie down comfortably, a table (even a folding TV dinner table will do), and good light.
You can set up a sacred space with things you already have around. Don’t be afraid to move stuff around to suit yourself. Try to use what you already have before going to the store to buy new stuff.
Some people already have a place in their home that they gravitate to whenever they have a free moment. If this is true of you, then you should take an hour or so this week to make that special place even nicer. If it’s your bed, then clear off your night stand and think carefully about what you put back. Let only beautiful things stay in your sacred space.
Do you have a special collection that you don’t see very often because it’s not where you like to spend your free time? Well, move it! Move your special collection to your sacred place. Have some fun arranging it.
If you like candles, gather candles from other areas of your house and collect them in your sacred space. If you have a mirror tray, that would be a beautiful place to put them.
Hang a favorite picture or favorite picture collection on the wall of your sacred space. Get some pretty new pillows or recover old pillows to make your space cozy. Crochet a lap blanket or sew the edges of a blanket-sized piece of fleece. (Of course, you can always buy a blanket someone else has made.) Pick a color that makes you happy. If it’s too garish for company, then you can just tuck it away when company is coming.
Put a plant in your sacred space. Asparagus fern and spider plants do well in low light. An african violet will even bloom under artificial light if you leave the light on long enough. If your sacred space is near a window, even better. You can have a ficus (fig tree) or rubber plant in your sacred space.
Keep a basket on hand with things you can do while you’re relaxing. You can include a book, manicure supplies, letter-writing supplies, even some candy (if you don’t have pets or small children who’ll get into it.
Keep another basket on hand, maybe on the floor, with small crafts you like to do and would do if you had more time. You can throw in some quilt squares to piece, a counted cross-stich project, yarn and a crochet hook, or beads and thread… the possibilities are endless. Guys, don’t think I’m not talking to you. Crocheting can be very relaxing. Even professional football players and tough bikers have been known to crochet. To help with decluttering, do your projects with a recipient in mind and give it to that recipient when it’s done. How many finished products do you really need to have around? You can even make projects to give to nursing homes, hospices, neonatal intensive care… there are a lot of organizations that look for handmade crafts to give to people who need the boost.
When a new magazine comes in from a subscription, slip it into your basket so you have it on hand when you have time for it. (Be sure to clean out old magazines at least once a month.)
If you get baskets with lids, they can stay there and look pretty even when company is coming. A picnic basket might be a nice option. Try not to stack more than two baskets because that’s an invitation for clutter and frustration.
Make sure your sacred space has plenty of light. If yours is a reading chair and ottoman, position a floor lamp behind you so it lights up your projects. Get the nicest lamp you can afford. I want one with a crystal beaded shade. (Right now, I don’t even have my reading chair and ottoman, but I’ll get it eventually.)
Once you have arranged your sacred space, be diligent about keeping it neat and clean. Keep it comfortable. Tidy your project baskets at least once a day. Keep your plant healthy. Keep your sacred space inviting. If you allow clutter and dirt to build up, you won’t feel refreshed after spending time there.
Enjoy!
It’s tough for a cleanie and a messie to live together, whether it’s parent and child, roommates, or a married couple. It can really strain an otherwise good relationship. Living with someone in the opposite camp takes hard work, understanding, and diplomacy.
The one thing I think most acknowledged messies wish cleanies understood is that we don’t choose to be like this, just like many cleanies don’t choose to be cleanies… they just are. That’s not an excuse… I don’t think messies should just sit back and say, “Well, I don’t have to work on this… I was born this way.” But we do need the support of our cleanie friends, roommates, and family. Cleanies need to understand that “just clean it” doesn’t help us a bit. We need step-by-step instructions, move-by-move encouragement, and regular support.
The one thing I think most cleanies wish messies understood is that a messy house is very distressing… and that it doesn’t take as long to clean as it often takes to put off cleaning. Cleanies have a hard time understanding WHY we put off the 15 minute project, or why it is so hard for us to do 15 minutes of cleaning every day. To many cleanies, cleaning is as natural as breathing. I’m not saying they enjoy cleaning… many cleanies probably hate it more than messies do.
The ideal way for cleanies and messies to get along is to play to each others’ strengths.
Cleanie-Messie roommates… This is a tough combination. I once had a cleanie roommate who really didn’t like my messie habits- especially my book collection. She couldn’t understand why I liked to keep the books I read, while I couldn’t understand why she didn’t keep the books she read. The good thing, though, was that I watched her cleanie habits and was able to adopt some of them. If you are a cleanie with a messie roommate, it’s going to be hard… but there are a few things you can do to encourage good habits.
Try to set some ground rules when the two of you first move in together. If it’s too late for that, then set some rules now about where your messie roommate is “allowed” to be messie. You could agree that her room can be messie if the door stays closed and if she doesn’t leave food in there. You could agree that she can only use your dishes and plates if she washes them immediately afterward, and if she doesn’t, you can wash them and then lock them away from her.
When you’re taking your laundry to the laundromat, invite your roommate to come with you. Keep her there until her laundry is neatly folded, then when you get back to the place, encourage her to put her clothes away right away. (Of course this could work for guys, too!)
When you’re cleaning, encourage your roommate to clean as well.
Consider getting your roommate one of the good messie or organizing books, like Get Organized by Stephanie Winston or The New Messies Manual by Sandra Felton. (See the links to those books at http://www.mymessyhouse.com/messiebook.shtml. Depending on your relationship, you can either give the book directly to your roommate (especially if she has expressed interest in becoming a cleaner person) or you can leave the book lying around in a prominent place in a shared area.
If you’re the messie one of the roommates, then you have certain responsibilities. When your roommate is cleaning, you should jump up and clean something, too. When you borrow or use anything that belongs to your roommate, clean it immediately and return it in the same condition you borrowed it. Better yet, don’t borrow anything. Help maintain the public areas. Make your bed every day and don’t keep food in your bedroom. Keep your door closed.
Of course, there might come a time when you realize that the two of you just can’t live together. If you two can’t come to an agreement about managing your differing lifestyles, one of you needs to find another place to live. And both of you need to be more careful about how you choose roommates next time. (A hint, try to see how your potential roommate keeps her car, if she has one.)
This illustrates why it’s not a good idea to move in with a best friend or a workmate. It could ruin your relationship to have these kinds of problems come up.
By the way, if you’re a college-aged messie filling out one of those roommate selection forms, DO NOT put down that you are neat. That is an extremely unfair thing to do to the defenseless cleanie you get matched up with. Cleanies cannot tolerate the level of squalor that messies can (though we need to work on being less tolerant of messes.)
It doesn’t take as long as we messies think it does to clean a house. Each room can be neatened in 15 minutes to an hour, depending on the clutter (except my bedroom, which is still a disaster from the move!) This is a short summary of tips for each room.
This is just a quick list of some daily minimums that will keep your house sparkling. These are just suggestions. You may have techniques that work better for you, but if there’s an area that keeps blocking you, try something different.
What Doesn’t Belong
Some of my messie friends have come up with a new way of cleaning and decluttering their homes. They envision how they want their room to look and then remove everything that doesn’t fit that vision. That is the short version.
In a way, it is that simple, and in a way it is a lot more complicated. We messies aren’t always able to just start doing that… there are often too many layers of stuff in the way. It also can be hard to visualize exactly what we want… many of us have lived in clutter and dust and mess for so long that we can’t “see” how our rooms should look.
If you’re a recovered or recovering messie, you might be able to jump right in to the decorating. Look around and try to “see” your ideal room in your mind’s eye. Choose a segment of your room and remove everything that doesn’t fit into the picture in your mind. Put the objects in a laundry basket, rubbermaid bin, or box. If there’s trash, throw it away. Do this for about 15 minutes to an hour. Work around the room in one direction. At the end of your session, put away anything in the basket that actually has a home (such as toys and books.) Do the hour-long session about once or twice a week (any more, and it will start cutting into your other cleaning time.) You’ll be surprised at how quickly you can whip a room into shape.
You can also take ten minutes a day to do a quick once-over in your room. Just spend 10 minutes removing the items that are out of place and putting them back into their place. This would be a good thing to add to your morning or evening lists, depending on when you have the most energy. You could split your ten minutes among several rooms, or you could alternate rooms, spending ten minutes in a different room each day. You could even have it on your list twice a day.
If you are just beginning to work on your messiness, I think it is still a good idea to visualize how you want the room to look. It might be harder with stuff on every surface and all over the floor, but it also gives you something to aim for. As you work, keep that picture in mind to motivate you.
How do you visualize a room? There are several ways you can get an idea of what rooms you like. You can go to those “gallery” style furniture stores and look around their mini-rooms. Note the features that make you feel good. Do you like the rooms that have a modern, stark feel, or do you like the cozy rooms with a lot of knick-knacks?
Visit real estate open houses. You can see some rooms and homes that you really like and that inspire you. Note what you like about them… or just make a list of what features the rooms you like all have in common.
Think about the rooms you have liked the best… think about houses you lived in as a child, houses you have visited, your friends’ houses. Visualize the ones you have felt most comfortable and happy in, and write down the features you like the best.
Read home decorating magazines. Every so often, I’ll cut out the pictures of the rooms I like and paste them into a sketchbook. From the sketchbook, I can see exactly what I like in a room. Try this… read a home decorating magazine with a pair of scissors and a pot of paste nearby. Cut out pictures you like and paste them into the book. Immediately throw away the magazine you’ve cut the pictures from so you don’t have that litter around. Do this once or twice a month while you’re trying to visualize what you want. Then do it about once or twice a year to make sure your house still looks exactly how you want. Invite your kids to join you. They might find it fun, and you might get good ideas for decorating their rooms.
When you compare the features of the different rooms, you’ll see things they have in common. I noted that I like light-colored carpets, windows with light or no window coverings, bookcases filled with books, lots of green plants, and brass and gold accents. I like wood and I like uncluttered horizontal spaces. You can’t do much about carpet color if you’re renting or if you can’t afford to recarpet, but you can take down window treatments you don’t like. You can add or rearrange plants and books. You can move things from one room to another to get the look you like. You can even get a cheap area rug, in the color you like, to put over the carpet you don’t like (don’t forget to vacuum underneath at least once, maybe twice a month!)
Once you have a list of what you like in a room, do what you can to inch the room closer to your ideal room.
I think it’s important to know what you want your rooms to look like. I didn’t think about it much when we moved in here because we thought we would only be here for a year. A year and a half later, and no move in sight, I’m realizing it’s a lot more important than I thought to have an idea. Luckily, the room has good light and a nice carpet, so I have a good start.
